Are you ready for part 2??? I would hope so since you clicked it. Unless, you are like me and click links, open them, and keep them open before you get up to go do something else. That way when you come back, it is there for you and you will not forget. If you do not do this, you should try it sometime. But I digress...
I go a little overboard. So, after not being able to get women in New York for so long, when I finally found my rhythm I went crazy. Since the break-up in November of 2011; I have dated more than 100 women. Your first thought might be, "BRIAN!!!! Where did you meet all of these women?" My reply is simple, "J-date". hahahaha I kid, I kid. I did Match.com for a month, but the women on there were weird. Or maybe they were all normal, and I'm the weird one. I'll accept the latter as the more correct statement. And, I was on OKC for about 5 months. (OKC is OKCupid) And although I like the concept of online dating; I do not think I am that good at it. I feel like people are pretty genuine in describing themselves as they see themselves. But, that isn't necessarily how a member of the opposite sex will see this person on a first date. I like my good, old fashioned, random face-to-face encounter.
As examples, in the past week I have met three women (who I hope do not read this blog, or maybe I hope they do). haha Technically I only met 2, but I wanted to meet the 3rd, but silly subway doors get in the way. I'll explain. I met the first woman on the train. She was gorgeous, wearing a yellow and white dress. I cannot recall her name. She works for a theater company on the business side, but wants to be an actress. She sat beside me on the train, and I planned my gameplan. I looked around the car, and saw a gentleman with a huge horse head in his lap. I tapped the lovely lady on the shoulder, waited for her to take her headphones out, pointed at the horsehead and said, "I wish I could say this was the first time seeing a huge horsehead on the subway, but I've lived a wild life". She laughed, I was funny, she laughed some more, and then we got coffee at her stop. I don't drink coffee, but I sure look good watching someone else drink it. haha
Example two this week is Lindsey. I was out the other night and it started raining. I was walking to the subway station, less than a block away, when I see a woman running the opposite direction. Without hesitation I turn, and begin running with her, holding the umbrella over her. She turns to me and says, "Are you serious right now?" as our run morphed into jog, then to walk. I said, "Yes. What kind of gentleman would I be if I didn't offer to escort you home in this monsoon?" She smiled and said, "You are fucking awesome!" I replied, "You are obviously correct!" She informed me she lived 10 blocks from the subway (five one way, five the other) and wanted to know if I really wanted to walk that far. I replied that I would kind of be an ass to stop now, and we kept walking. We talked, we laughed, and genuinely had a great 10 minutes together. She had been on a crappy first date with a guy she met on Tinder. She said he was hot, but he was an oversharer. I was like, "OH, within the first three minutes he told you his uncle molested him?" She laughed, and replied, "Not quite that bad, but close". Once I got her to her doorstep, I gave her a hug, and a kiss on the cheek. I would have went for a full-on kiss, but I didn't want her to think I had walked her home, just to try to get some. I thought the walk home was the gentlemanly thing to do. I wasn't trying to get in her pants, so I did not want her to think so. Either way, I gave her my number, and she called me. We're supposed to go out next week. The one problem is, she didn't let it ring long enough (even though she let it ring for like 10 seconds), so her number never showed up on my caller id. :-( I finished our interaction with, "So, I am going out on a limb and saying I'm the highlight of your night". She agreed, and I was on my way. As I turned to walk away, it stopped raining.
Example three, which is the final example for this week was also a train situation. I got off the train at 79th street yesterday. As I walked down the platform, I saw a gorgeous, gorgeous woman sitting in the car that was beside the one I had ridden in. We locked eyes. I smiled, and threw up my hand to wave. She looked a little puzzled as if it was to her or not, so I smiled even bigger. I pointed at her, and then blew her a kiss. She grinned, and put her head down sheepishly. It was too adorable. Had the doors not already been closed, I would have jumped on that train, and ridden it another stop, just to get this woman's information. Alas, it wasn't to be. But, that woman had a feel good moment, and I'm sure the rest of the day she thought about the moment she shared with a stranger that blew her a kiss.
I guess the takeaway from this is, I'm not afraid to approach any woman, or to just be myself. Confidence is SO fucking sexy. And although I do enjoy being me, sometimes I have to tone down the Brian when I first meet someone.
Anyways, back to where I was headed: I had my slightly over 100 dates (I won't say how many, I do not want to seem tawdry), and it was an overload. I gave up dating for three months. And, this was three of the happiest months of my New York life. I've recently started dating again, and I feel a little rusty, but I'll be back in the swing of things before I know it. However, I don't want to be the guy that dates 3 or 4 (or 12) women at a time any more. I want to find that one special woman, and settle down.
I'll get to that in (Part Three)
Friday, August 16, 2013
I still, haven't found... what I'm looking for. (Part One)
Recently, I've been preparing for a series of blogs about what guys need to do to attract women. I do not want to say to bang women, or to kiss women, or to get women's phone numbers. I mean to attract them, to get their attention.
I haven't really told anyone (save for some close friends) my reasoning for this. I believe in a relatively short time, I will be retiring from "The Game". Feel free to make Air Quotes when you read that. If you didn't air quote; feel free to go back and re-read it so you can be a part of the group. I don't know why, but I have this overwhelming feeling that my Ms. Right (who will probably be a Ms. Gupta, Ms. Patel, or Ms. Singh) is right around the corner. I may be wrong, but I think it is time to prepare a new generation of men to figure out the female mystique. The first thing I will say about this mystique is that women do not know what they want. And, that is ok. It is our job as men to convince them that we are what they want. If we fail at that, it is our fault.
But enough about that. That is something that will be tackled in future blogs. The blog today is solely about me, and my search for "the one" (and I'm not talking about an awesome phone from HTC). One of the comments I would receive again, and again when I used to have 1,000 readers a month was that people enjoyed my writing because it was entertaining, but it was also honest, and emotional, and real. I will put myself out there. Hopefully this will be the first of many writings that fall back into that vein. If I come across conceited, or as if I'm bragging; I apologize in advance. I'm just trying to tell the story as accurately as possible.
In Greenville, North Carolina I dated a lot. It did NOT start out that way, but I ended my time there with a bang. And another bang. And several more bangs. (Shout out to Lisa and Erica) Ahhhh big fish, in a small town. I was a local celebrity, and it was an amazing thing.
It started out rough for me. I started ECU in 1999. I had NO self esteem. None. I spent almost every day of my life thinking I was a loser. However, I've always been an extrovert. I know the two are usually not married, but somehow this was who I was. I piddled around feeling sorry for myself until 2002. In those first 3 years, I did ok with the ladies. By "ok" (feel free to air quote again), I mean I probably made out with 3 or 4 girls a year. There was rarely any sex going on. This is how lame I was. I could get girls back to my place, in my bed, and sometimes in various levels of undress, and I still doubted if they wanted to hook up with me. Pathetic, right? But, I really couldn't see why anyone would want to be with me. It wasn't like anyone was telling me I was a loser. I had great roomies, and great friends, and I really had some attractive girls paying attention to me. But, I never felt like I had the value to have a girlfriend.
That all changed in 2002. I began working at Gadzooks. It was the best thing that has ever happened to me. The guy you meet today, had his genesis in the Plaza Mall of Greenville in April of 2002. I had the best boss ever. His name is Mike. I'd use his full name, but haven't asked his permission. He hired me because I would come shopping with my friends, and always pick out their outfits. From day one, he built me up every single day I worked with him. He would notice girls checking me out, and flirting, when I would not. He would say, "DUDE! She was totally into you, why didn't you get her number?" I couldn't see it. I would think, "Oh, she is just being nice because she feels sorry for me". The more time I spent at Gadzooks, the better I began to feel about myself.
Somewhere in those 3 years, I even got the nickname "Gadzooks" downtown. I could walk into a club, and the hottest chicks would come running up to me exclaiming, "GADZOOKS!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!! You picked out my outfit tonight!" To which I would reply something along the lines of, "Yes I did, and you look soooo fucking hot in it. I did a good job".
In my Gadzooks prime, I was dating 3 to 4 chicks a week. I never developed the ability to get any girl I wanted at first approach. My style was to talk to them every time they came in, build a rapport, and eventually getting around to saying, "Hey, we should go out sometime". The majority of the time this statement was met with, "Yes! That would be awesome!" Then I would be given their number, and they would either tell me of a party they were going to, or where to meet them downtown.
Gadzooks closed in 2005. It took me until 2010 to get over it. Yes, five years. That job was the best job I ever had. Maybe not so much for the work that was done (which I was the top rated manager in the company... boom!), but for the people I met. I am still close with about 20 of the people I met there. That rocks. I had started writing a book in June of 2003. It came out in June of 2006. All of a sudden I became "The Book Guy" (I hope you air quoted). It didn't sound as cool as "GADZOOKS!", but the same purpose was served. Hot chicks would come up to me because they knew who I was. Just like at Gadzooks, my work was being done for me. I didn't realize what a problem this was at the time.
It wasn't until 2008 when I moved to New York that I realized this: Even though I had dated many, many women (some years over 100 a year); I had no clue how to get a woman. And to clarify, I mean dates as exactly that. I may have only had one date with a woman, but to me that woman is included in the number. I had never taken the time to realize what it was that I was doing, that made women attracted to me. 2008 was a terrible year for dating for me. I think I dated 2 women in New York. I remember my first date, but do not remember her name. She was really pretty, but really annoying. We did not go on a second date. I remember my second date as well. It went great: Pizza, and then back to my place to watch football. Even though we made out, I didn't even put my hand up her shirt. I was too chicken. My old first years of college problem had arose where I couldn't imagine why this hottie would want to make out with me. That's the kind of things that pop up when one strikes out with every woman he talks to save two. My ego took a beating. I no longer thought I was worthless, I just felt that New York women couldn't see my worth.
During this time, the rough thing for me was that my self esteem was based on how hot the girl I was dating was. Remember, I still had no clue how I would get hot women. It was pretty much throwing shit to the wall, and seeing what would stick. I had one of my first friends here in New York (who happened to be my boss) tell me that I was doing it wrong. He asked me why I let women be my self esteem. And I explained nothing felt better than dating a hot woman. I've discussed before in another blog, so I won't go into details. But, long story short: I learned that I should get my self worth from my talents, and who I am; not from someone else. One of the best lessons I have ever learned.
I am not exactly sure when, but I would say probably around January of 2010 is when I finally started to catch on to how to interact with New York women. I was working at a cupcake place, and at a hip, trendy clothing store. I didn't meet many women at the cupcake place (but did date a co-worker). At the clothing store, I was back to my old ways. I would flirt a lot, and I started realizing what did, and didn't work with women here. I made a concerted effort to get better. And get better I did. By May, I was going out with 2 or 3 women casually. By the end of the year I had a girlfriend! And she was hot! And she could sing, and dance, and act, and put me in my place. She had just as messed up a sense of humor as me, and she was great.
We broke up in November of 2011, and since then; I have gone a little date crazy. [Get ready for part 2...]
I haven't really told anyone (save for some close friends) my reasoning for this. I believe in a relatively short time, I will be retiring from "The Game". Feel free to make Air Quotes when you read that. If you didn't air quote; feel free to go back and re-read it so you can be a part of the group. I don't know why, but I have this overwhelming feeling that my Ms. Right (who will probably be a Ms. Gupta, Ms. Patel, or Ms. Singh) is right around the corner. I may be wrong, but I think it is time to prepare a new generation of men to figure out the female mystique. The first thing I will say about this mystique is that women do not know what they want. And, that is ok. It is our job as men to convince them that we are what they want. If we fail at that, it is our fault.
But enough about that. That is something that will be tackled in future blogs. The blog today is solely about me, and my search for "the one" (and I'm not talking about an awesome phone from HTC). One of the comments I would receive again, and again when I used to have 1,000 readers a month was that people enjoyed my writing because it was entertaining, but it was also honest, and emotional, and real. I will put myself out there. Hopefully this will be the first of many writings that fall back into that vein. If I come across conceited, or as if I'm bragging; I apologize in advance. I'm just trying to tell the story as accurately as possible.
In Greenville, North Carolina I dated a lot. It did NOT start out that way, but I ended my time there with a bang. And another bang. And several more bangs. (Shout out to Lisa and Erica) Ahhhh big fish, in a small town. I was a local celebrity, and it was an amazing thing.
It started out rough for me. I started ECU in 1999. I had NO self esteem. None. I spent almost every day of my life thinking I was a loser. However, I've always been an extrovert. I know the two are usually not married, but somehow this was who I was. I piddled around feeling sorry for myself until 2002. In those first 3 years, I did ok with the ladies. By "ok" (feel free to air quote again), I mean I probably made out with 3 or 4 girls a year. There was rarely any sex going on. This is how lame I was. I could get girls back to my place, in my bed, and sometimes in various levels of undress, and I still doubted if they wanted to hook up with me. Pathetic, right? But, I really couldn't see why anyone would want to be with me. It wasn't like anyone was telling me I was a loser. I had great roomies, and great friends, and I really had some attractive girls paying attention to me. But, I never felt like I had the value to have a girlfriend.
That all changed in 2002. I began working at Gadzooks. It was the best thing that has ever happened to me. The guy you meet today, had his genesis in the Plaza Mall of Greenville in April of 2002. I had the best boss ever. His name is Mike. I'd use his full name, but haven't asked his permission. He hired me because I would come shopping with my friends, and always pick out their outfits. From day one, he built me up every single day I worked with him. He would notice girls checking me out, and flirting, when I would not. He would say, "DUDE! She was totally into you, why didn't you get her number?" I couldn't see it. I would think, "Oh, she is just being nice because she feels sorry for me". The more time I spent at Gadzooks, the better I began to feel about myself.
Somewhere in those 3 years, I even got the nickname "Gadzooks" downtown. I could walk into a club, and the hottest chicks would come running up to me exclaiming, "GADZOOKS!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!! You picked out my outfit tonight!" To which I would reply something along the lines of, "Yes I did, and you look soooo fucking hot in it. I did a good job".
In my Gadzooks prime, I was dating 3 to 4 chicks a week. I never developed the ability to get any girl I wanted at first approach. My style was to talk to them every time they came in, build a rapport, and eventually getting around to saying, "Hey, we should go out sometime". The majority of the time this statement was met with, "Yes! That would be awesome!" Then I would be given their number, and they would either tell me of a party they were going to, or where to meet them downtown.
Gadzooks closed in 2005. It took me until 2010 to get over it. Yes, five years. That job was the best job I ever had. Maybe not so much for the work that was done (which I was the top rated manager in the company... boom!), but for the people I met. I am still close with about 20 of the people I met there. That rocks. I had started writing a book in June of 2003. It came out in June of 2006. All of a sudden I became "The Book Guy" (I hope you air quoted). It didn't sound as cool as "GADZOOKS!", but the same purpose was served. Hot chicks would come up to me because they knew who I was. Just like at Gadzooks, my work was being done for me. I didn't realize what a problem this was at the time.
It wasn't until 2008 when I moved to New York that I realized this: Even though I had dated many, many women (some years over 100 a year); I had no clue how to get a woman. And to clarify, I mean dates as exactly that. I may have only had one date with a woman, but to me that woman is included in the number. I had never taken the time to realize what it was that I was doing, that made women attracted to me. 2008 was a terrible year for dating for me. I think I dated 2 women in New York. I remember my first date, but do not remember her name. She was really pretty, but really annoying. We did not go on a second date. I remember my second date as well. It went great: Pizza, and then back to my place to watch football. Even though we made out, I didn't even put my hand up her shirt. I was too chicken. My old first years of college problem had arose where I couldn't imagine why this hottie would want to make out with me. That's the kind of things that pop up when one strikes out with every woman he talks to save two. My ego took a beating. I no longer thought I was worthless, I just felt that New York women couldn't see my worth.
During this time, the rough thing for me was that my self esteem was based on how hot the girl I was dating was. Remember, I still had no clue how I would get hot women. It was pretty much throwing shit to the wall, and seeing what would stick. I had one of my first friends here in New York (who happened to be my boss) tell me that I was doing it wrong. He asked me why I let women be my self esteem. And I explained nothing felt better than dating a hot woman. I've discussed before in another blog, so I won't go into details. But, long story short: I learned that I should get my self worth from my talents, and who I am; not from someone else. One of the best lessons I have ever learned.
I am not exactly sure when, but I would say probably around January of 2010 is when I finally started to catch on to how to interact with New York women. I was working at a cupcake place, and at a hip, trendy clothing store. I didn't meet many women at the cupcake place (but did date a co-worker). At the clothing store, I was back to my old ways. I would flirt a lot, and I started realizing what did, and didn't work with women here. I made a concerted effort to get better. And get better I did. By May, I was going out with 2 or 3 women casually. By the end of the year I had a girlfriend! And she was hot! And she could sing, and dance, and act, and put me in my place. She had just as messed up a sense of humor as me, and she was great.
We broke up in November of 2011, and since then; I have gone a little date crazy. [Get ready for part 2...]
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
How to Turn a Guy on!
First, I want to say thanks to all of the ladies who messaged me (either via text or email) to let me know they appreciated the last post. It actually was the most feedback I have gotten from a blog post since I moved to blogger from myspace (remember that?). I was rather surprised none of those comments made it onto the actual blog, but then I thought about the subject matter. It makes sense in this day of an interconnected on-line world that people would not want their thoughts, comments, and questions on sex in a public online forum. Feel free to continue texting/emailing if that makes you feel more at ease. As stated in the previous blog, all interactions with me are anonymous. With that out of the way: Let's BLOGG!
In the last blog, I had what a guy is thinking about, and how simple we really are. I think I will continue with that, and then for the next blog do Gal Talk! (For the Fellas).
Ladies, it is not hard to get us guys in the mood. I know this sounds weird, but it is not. I have a certain friend who was shocked.... SHOCKED to find out exactly how little it does to get guys into the mood. And, when I share it with you, you will probably be shocked too. First, I think it is only fair to give a few things that it takes to get a girl in the mood.
First of all guys, smell nice. If you want to get a girl in the mood, the first thing you need to do is take a shower, and get yourself all nice & clean. Then, put on some clean clothes (IRON THOSE MOFOS!) Feel free to spritz yourself with a little bit of cologne. All you need is a little bit; do not go crazy! Trust me on this. I know our mentality, if a little bit is good, then a lot must be GREAT! It is not. Just a little bit will do ya.
When you first meet her, give her a sincere complement. SINCERE! (that does not mean "You're hott!")
Then guys, you need to take her someplace nice. If you want a classy lady to enjoy your company: eliminate fast food. No girl wants to begin a courtship at Taco Bell. [Nothing against Taco Bell! I love the Dorito's Locos Taco, as well as Chalupas and Gorditas. I could eat Taco Bell every day of my life and be happy. However, this is not what gets a woman going.] If the lady you are courting ends up being "The one", they do not want to remember the date as, "oh we went to Taco Bell". And again, I'm sure your date will LOVE Taco Bell! Who wouldn't love their delicious selections? Especially with the new Cantina selections. But, this isn't what they want on a date.
Guys, pay attention to her while you are on the date. Now I know you will want to focus on how awesome you are. And we both know you are awesome, but how about letting her talk. Ask her questions. Get to know her. I'm not saying interview her. But, spend more time getting to know her, than talking about yourself. We have all fallen prey to wanting to boast about all of the things we do in order to seem interesting. But, if she is on a date with you, she has already found you to be at least a bit interesting. You do not have to blow your load in the first conversation. I'm sure you have heard, "Leave her wanting more". So guess what, leave her wanting more.
Everything I have given you so far is a good start. This will not have the woman "all gassed up and ready to go", but it is a start. There is a lot more work to be done to get her fully aroused. However, I shall save that for another day.
Now ladies, since you have been so patient while I explained to the gentlemen the beginnings of what it takes to get you in the mood; I shall now share with you what it takes to get us in the mood. I will give you a a minute to get a notepad and pencil.....
Ready? So ladies, in order to get a guy in the mood, and interested in bedding you... unbutton a button on your top.
That's it. Done. You're welcome. Suffice it to say, it is much easier for you ladies. You have to unbutton a button.
I KNOW right now there are some of you that are like, "NO! No way! It can't be that easy!" If you don't believe me, try it. When you are with a guy, and you want to get him in the mood, look him in the eye, and then unbutton the top most buttoned button on your blouse. See what happens next. That look in his eyes; that's you driving him crazy.
I believe this series is going to go on longer than 4 blogs. I have more to talk about how to turn on the fairer sex, and in the next blog I want to talk about a DEEP, DARK secret that you ladies may not know about us.
In the last blog, I had what a guy is thinking about, and how simple we really are. I think I will continue with that, and then for the next blog do Gal Talk! (For the Fellas).
Ladies, it is not hard to get us guys in the mood. I know this sounds weird, but it is not. I have a certain friend who was shocked.... SHOCKED to find out exactly how little it does to get guys into the mood. And, when I share it with you, you will probably be shocked too. First, I think it is only fair to give a few things that it takes to get a girl in the mood.
First of all guys, smell nice. If you want to get a girl in the mood, the first thing you need to do is take a shower, and get yourself all nice & clean. Then, put on some clean clothes (IRON THOSE MOFOS!) Feel free to spritz yourself with a little bit of cologne. All you need is a little bit; do not go crazy! Trust me on this. I know our mentality, if a little bit is good, then a lot must be GREAT! It is not. Just a little bit will do ya.
When you first meet her, give her a sincere complement. SINCERE! (that does not mean "You're hott!")
Then guys, you need to take her someplace nice. If you want a classy lady to enjoy your company: eliminate fast food. No girl wants to begin a courtship at Taco Bell. [Nothing against Taco Bell! I love the Dorito's Locos Taco, as well as Chalupas and Gorditas. I could eat Taco Bell every day of my life and be happy. However, this is not what gets a woman going.] If the lady you are courting ends up being "The one", they do not want to remember the date as, "oh we went to Taco Bell". And again, I'm sure your date will LOVE Taco Bell! Who wouldn't love their delicious selections? Especially with the new Cantina selections. But, this isn't what they want on a date.
Guys, pay attention to her while you are on the date. Now I know you will want to focus on how awesome you are. And we both know you are awesome, but how about letting her talk. Ask her questions. Get to know her. I'm not saying interview her. But, spend more time getting to know her, than talking about yourself. We have all fallen prey to wanting to boast about all of the things we do in order to seem interesting. But, if she is on a date with you, she has already found you to be at least a bit interesting. You do not have to blow your load in the first conversation. I'm sure you have heard, "Leave her wanting more". So guess what, leave her wanting more.
Everything I have given you so far is a good start. This will not have the woman "all gassed up and ready to go", but it is a start. There is a lot more work to be done to get her fully aroused. However, I shall save that for another day.
Now ladies, since you have been so patient while I explained to the gentlemen the beginnings of what it takes to get you in the mood; I shall now share with you what it takes to get us in the mood. I will give you a a minute to get a notepad and pencil.....
Ready? So ladies, in order to get a guy in the mood, and interested in bedding you... unbutton a button on your top.
That's it. Done. You're welcome. Suffice it to say, it is much easier for you ladies. You have to unbutton a button.
I KNOW right now there are some of you that are like, "NO! No way! It can't be that easy!" If you don't believe me, try it. When you are with a guy, and you want to get him in the mood, look him in the eye, and then unbutton the top most buttoned button on your blouse. See what happens next. That look in his eyes; that's you driving him crazy.
I believe this series is going to go on longer than 4 blogs. I have more to talk about how to turn on the fairer sex, and in the next blog I want to talk about a DEEP, DARK secret that you ladies may not know about us.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Guy Talk! (for the ladies)
The other night I was at dinner with a lovely lady that I formerly saw in a romantic way. She decided to talk to me about her guy problems. She explained how it seems like every guy she meets, all they want to do is have sex with her. I was like, "Right, go on?" To which she informed me, THAT is the problem. She doesn't understand why she only attracts guys that want to have sex with her. She wanted to find a guy that would appreciate her for her, not her vagina.
I laughed. It was a chortle, but I wanted it to be a belly laugh. I said, "Honey, you do realize that any guy that goes on a date with any girl wants to have sex with her". She was blown away. She said, "NO! That can't be. When we dated you never tried to have sex with me".
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh", I said, "But that didn't mean that I did not want to have sex with you. I wanted to fuck you so freaking bad! I just never said anything because you told me on the first date that you were not that kind of girl, and I did not want to disrespect you".
The following three minutes mostly revolved around her giving various faces of disbelief, and repeating "really" in various valley girl tones. With 5 seconds of conversation, I had given her years worth of material to think about. When she relapsed back into reality the first thing she did was laugh exceedingly hard. I would consider it her ab workout for the day. Her first utterance was this, "You need to blog about this". I scoffed, and she become more intense, "You REALLY need to blog about this. Women do not know this about men". So now I present to you ladies, a blog about men, and what we think. If you enjoy it, you can thank my friend for needling me to write it. If you do not enjoy it, you can blame me for not writing it well enough.
I think first and foremost, before the blog begins, I should let you know that I am not a normal guy. I have grown up with most of my friends being female. Therefore, I sometimes think more femininely than manly man. If my views do not line up with the average male, it is because I am not average. And for any guy that wants to "pull my mancard" for being so in touch with my feminine side, and admitting that women are smarter that us men; I am more of a man than you can dream of being. Ask any woman I've bedded.This has been my disclaimer, and now on to the show.
Guys. We are not too incredibly complex. On my normal day I think about: God, titties, my family, boobies, my friends, tah-tahs, what work I have to do, asses, do I have any chores when I get home that night, tits, what are my plans for the weekend, butts, hey my birthday is coming up!, and sweet sweet honey wah-poon! (By the way honey wah-poon (or hwp) is what I will be using for this blog to speak of a woman's vagina. I have no problems with using pussy, cunt, twat, muff, nappy dugout, or any other term, but I know some ladies do not like such vulgar terms and therefore hwp satisfies their need for me to keep it clean)
I have been very blessed over the years, to have had moderate success with the ladies. If you read Cosmo, I'm doing better than average. This in no way means that I am an expert in male-female relationships, but I know enough to feel comfortable writing this.
Single guys spend a lot of time thinking about how to see a chick naked live and in person. Girls, when a guy takes you on a date, he wants to see you naked. I do not know of a single guy that says to himself, "Gosh, ________ is so pretty. I just want to take her to dinner, and pick her brain so bad! I hope she has something interesting to say about politics, or her religious beliefs!"
That doesn't happen. Guys generally go on the first date thinking, "Hey, I wonder if I wear THIS shirt, and THIS cologne, and take her to THIS restaurant, if she will blow me?" Then, when no blowing happens at the end of the date, the try to make amends to their gameplan so that the next date goes "better". Now ladies, do NOT take this the wrong way. Usually, when a guy goes on a date with you, SEX is NOT the only thing he wants. Every guy can get sex without having to take a girl on the date. No matter what language you use, there will always be hood rats, white trash, and palaylos that will put out with little to no effort. A guy normally goes out with you because he finds something about you endearing. You possess a quality or qualities that he admires. I believe the percentage of guys who go on dates with girls just because they think they are hot, or because they want to bang them is much less than would be expected. Even with that, I would say it is a solid 50%. (which may be higher than some expect) I will not go out with someone unless I want to see them naked. I will admit that. However, every woman I go out with, has to have qualities that I admire in order to make me put forth the effort to go on dates with them. I will give you three examples.
The lovely female that encouraged me to write this blog. She is a very strict Christian. I find that quality to be endearing. She has a smile that can light up a room. She is very goal oriented, and has a lot of irons in the fire. I like driven women. I decided to go out with her because of these traits. The fact she is hot is just the added bonus. Had she only been hot, I would have never spent the time to take her out.
The second woman I will mention, is so lovely. I met her at bar, and the second I saw her I was like "WOW! She is gorgeous!" [I must inform you that I never do one night stands, and I will never sleep with a girl the night I meet her. I know that is different than a lot of guys that go to bars] As I talked to her that night, she seemed like a really awesome chick. She came across as polite, and fun, and a good person. Then she said, "I'm the kind of girl your mom warned you about". From all of the interactions I had with her up until that point, this didn't jibe. It made me want to know more about her. I will admit the first time I saw this woman, I wanted to take her to bed, BUT had our conversation not been so engaging, that interest would have been lost. Our first date their were drinks involved, and she made it back to my place. There was no copulation that evening. Get your mind out of the gutter. [This will be further discussed later]
And finally, my third example. I found this woman on an online dating site. The woman had a profile name that I thought was awesome. So I wrote her something smart ass about it, and she replied with a smart ass quip. I replied with something kind of hood, and she had a hood reply as well! This woman had spunk. I loved that she was an account executive with a really professional career, but could quote rap lyrics to me. Again, I wanted to see this woman naked, BUT had there been nothing else between us, I would not have went out with her.
So ladies, from these examples, I wanted you to see that YES, guys that go out with you want to see you naked, but that is usually not the only reason they go out with you. Yes, there are slimeballs that will try to bang anything that moves, and they care nothing about the girl, but that is just one end of the bell curve. Just like the opposite end would be the guys who care absolutely nothing about having sex with a girl while they are dating. I'm shooting for the middle of the bell to address as wide an audience as possible. With all of this being said, you should remember this, "If a guy ask you on a date, there is a 97.8% chance that he wants to fuck you".
That's it for this first blog on this matter. I have a LOT more to say, but it will be in future blogs. Ladies, if you have some questions that you want answered honestly, feel free to email me at TheeBrianSpain@gmail.com. Feel free to include a picture of your boobs to inspire me to answer it. ;-) [Questions will be anonymous and the fact you sent a boob pic will NEVER be mentioned.]
Stay tuned to the future blogs for:
Guys lie.
Guys, go down?
Hey, what does it mean when a guy does this? (SUPER HONEST Answers to your questions)
I laughed. It was a chortle, but I wanted it to be a belly laugh. I said, "Honey, you do realize that any guy that goes on a date with any girl wants to have sex with her". She was blown away. She said, "NO! That can't be. When we dated you never tried to have sex with me".
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh", I said, "But that didn't mean that I did not want to have sex with you. I wanted to fuck you so freaking bad! I just never said anything because you told me on the first date that you were not that kind of girl, and I did not want to disrespect you".
The following three minutes mostly revolved around her giving various faces of disbelief, and repeating "really" in various valley girl tones. With 5 seconds of conversation, I had given her years worth of material to think about. When she relapsed back into reality the first thing she did was laugh exceedingly hard. I would consider it her ab workout for the day. Her first utterance was this, "You need to blog about this". I scoffed, and she become more intense, "You REALLY need to blog about this. Women do not know this about men". So now I present to you ladies, a blog about men, and what we think. If you enjoy it, you can thank my friend for needling me to write it. If you do not enjoy it, you can blame me for not writing it well enough.
I think first and foremost, before the blog begins, I should let you know that I am not a normal guy. I have grown up with most of my friends being female. Therefore, I sometimes think more femininely than manly man. If my views do not line up with the average male, it is because I am not average. And for any guy that wants to "pull my mancard" for being so in touch with my feminine side, and admitting that women are smarter that us men; I am more of a man than you can dream of being. Ask any woman I've bedded.This has been my disclaimer, and now on to the show.
Guys. We are not too incredibly complex. On my normal day I think about: God, titties, my family, boobies, my friends, tah-tahs, what work I have to do, asses, do I have any chores when I get home that night, tits, what are my plans for the weekend, butts, hey my birthday is coming up!, and sweet sweet honey wah-poon! (By the way honey wah-poon (or hwp) is what I will be using for this blog to speak of a woman's vagina. I have no problems with using pussy, cunt, twat, muff, nappy dugout, or any other term, but I know some ladies do not like such vulgar terms and therefore hwp satisfies their need for me to keep it clean)
I have been very blessed over the years, to have had moderate success with the ladies. If you read Cosmo, I'm doing better than average. This in no way means that I am an expert in male-female relationships, but I know enough to feel comfortable writing this.
Single guys spend a lot of time thinking about how to see a chick naked live and in person. Girls, when a guy takes you on a date, he wants to see you naked. I do not know of a single guy that says to himself, "Gosh, ________ is so pretty. I just want to take her to dinner, and pick her brain so bad! I hope she has something interesting to say about politics, or her religious beliefs!"
That doesn't happen. Guys generally go on the first date thinking, "Hey, I wonder if I wear THIS shirt, and THIS cologne, and take her to THIS restaurant, if she will blow me?" Then, when no blowing happens at the end of the date, the try to make amends to their gameplan so that the next date goes "better". Now ladies, do NOT take this the wrong way. Usually, when a guy goes on a date with you, SEX is NOT the only thing he wants. Every guy can get sex without having to take a girl on the date. No matter what language you use, there will always be hood rats, white trash, and palaylos that will put out with little to no effort. A guy normally goes out with you because he finds something about you endearing. You possess a quality or qualities that he admires. I believe the percentage of guys who go on dates with girls just because they think they are hot, or because they want to bang them is much less than would be expected. Even with that, I would say it is a solid 50%. (which may be higher than some expect) I will not go out with someone unless I want to see them naked. I will admit that. However, every woman I go out with, has to have qualities that I admire in order to make me put forth the effort to go on dates with them. I will give you three examples.
The lovely female that encouraged me to write this blog. She is a very strict Christian. I find that quality to be endearing. She has a smile that can light up a room. She is very goal oriented, and has a lot of irons in the fire. I like driven women. I decided to go out with her because of these traits. The fact she is hot is just the added bonus. Had she only been hot, I would have never spent the time to take her out.
The second woman I will mention, is so lovely. I met her at bar, and the second I saw her I was like "WOW! She is gorgeous!" [I must inform you that I never do one night stands, and I will never sleep with a girl the night I meet her. I know that is different than a lot of guys that go to bars] As I talked to her that night, she seemed like a really awesome chick. She came across as polite, and fun, and a good person. Then she said, "I'm the kind of girl your mom warned you about". From all of the interactions I had with her up until that point, this didn't jibe. It made me want to know more about her. I will admit the first time I saw this woman, I wanted to take her to bed, BUT had our conversation not been so engaging, that interest would have been lost. Our first date their were drinks involved, and she made it back to my place. There was no copulation that evening. Get your mind out of the gutter. [This will be further discussed later]
And finally, my third example. I found this woman on an online dating site. The woman had a profile name that I thought was awesome. So I wrote her something smart ass about it, and she replied with a smart ass quip. I replied with something kind of hood, and she had a hood reply as well! This woman had spunk. I loved that she was an account executive with a really professional career, but could quote rap lyrics to me. Again, I wanted to see this woman naked, BUT had there been nothing else between us, I would not have went out with her.
So ladies, from these examples, I wanted you to see that YES, guys that go out with you want to see you naked, but that is usually not the only reason they go out with you. Yes, there are slimeballs that will try to bang anything that moves, and they care nothing about the girl, but that is just one end of the bell curve. Just like the opposite end would be the guys who care absolutely nothing about having sex with a girl while they are dating. I'm shooting for the middle of the bell to address as wide an audience as possible. With all of this being said, you should remember this, "If a guy ask you on a date, there is a 97.8% chance that he wants to fuck you".
That's it for this first blog on this matter. I have a LOT more to say, but it will be in future blogs. Ladies, if you have some questions that you want answered honestly, feel free to email me at TheeBrianSpain@gmail.com. Feel free to include a picture of your boobs to inspire me to answer it. ;-) [Questions will be anonymous and the fact you sent a boob pic will NEVER be mentioned.]
Stay tuned to the future blogs for:
Guys lie.
Guys, go down?
Hey, what does it mean when a guy does this? (SUPER HONEST Answers to your questions)
Saturday, July 21, 2012
The New York Police Department does not care about me. And that hurts my feelings.
This is the story of my identity getting stolen. However, in my eyes, it wasn't so much an Identity Theft as it was someone writing down my credit card number and using it in another state. But we shall get to that soon enough.
On Tuesday, June 5th, 2012 I ate at Dallas BBQ on 72nd St NYC. My waitress was Eva P. I am in no way saying Eva P was the person who did this. I am just stating facts, as I know them. I mention this restaurant because it was the only place within a month that I gave someone my debit card, and it left my sight. It is quite possible I walked by someone who had a skimmer that read the strip on my card.
On Friday, June 8th at 7:40 pm I received a call from Capital One Fraud Alerts. They had some questions for me. I was at the mic so I had my ringer off. When I got home, around 8:45 I noticed the message and called them back. They wanted to know if I had made purchases of $95.56, $427.30, and I forget the other amount in Teaneck, New Jersey. I laughed, because I thought it was some kind of joke and replied, "No, I've never even heard of it". It turns out, someone had. Someone that had made a dummy of my card and was going on a shopping spree in Walgreen's in Teaneck on my dime.
Capital One said they would block all further charges, and I would receive all of the money back into my account that was stolen. However, I still felt violated. The first thing I did was call the Walgreen's where it was used. Since it had been within 2 hours, the staff still remembered the woman. Better yet, they had her on video on multiple cameras. I was excited because I knew that this would make it a lot easier on the cops. Better yet, they could burn a dvd of the footage for the cops to pick up.
After leaving the Walgreen's, this woman had went to Rite-Aide. Again, they had her on multiple cameras. I was excited. This woman would be caught!
I called the local NYPD Precinct (Precinct 50) and told them what happened and that I wanted to file a report. They told me that they could not take the report because my card was used in New Jersey. They told me to call the Police where it happened. So I called the Teaneck Police Department. They told me that they could not help me because the original crime was stealing my debit card number, and that happened in New York. Therefore, it was an NYPD problem. I went back and forth between the two for several phone calls. Finally, I called someone at the NYPD that said they could file it as a identity theft and to come in on Saturday between 8am and noon.
I came in at 11, waited until noon, only to be told that they could not file a report without something from the bank saying that I had been robbed. The cops said it would have to be something showing the amounts had cleared, and not pending. When I went to Capital One, they said I would have to wait until Tuesday to get that print out because the amounts would clear on Monday night.
Tuesday morning, I went to Capital One to get the print out. Unfortunately they were TOO quick in putting the money back into my account, (they had cancelled all of the holds) so I went to the police department and again tried to file my report. This time things went rather smooth. I had to wait an hour or so to be seen, but it wasn't too bad. I had gotten all of the information together for the police department. I had the woman's description, I had what times she was at which locations. I had already asked the Walgreen's to make a video. I had everything done for them. I even had the head Detective at Teaneck say that he would get the DVD to them.
The next day, Wednesday, a woman from the Police Department called me. She needed me to fill out one more sheet of paper. I went there immediately, filled it out, and was told that the detectives would call me when they had the video so that I could see the person who used my card. I waited a couple of weeks and did not hear anything.
Therefore I called the 50th precinct and asked what the deal was with my case. I was informed that no one had taken my case and no one would be taking my case because it was a misdemeanor, and it wasn't worth their time to go across state lines for a misdemeanor. I asked if the guy was kidding, and he said no. And, that if I had any issues with it, he could give me a phone number to call and complain.
I knew that would do no good. So long story short: if you need extra money, steal people's credit card information here in NYC, and then drive over to Jersey to use it. The Police will NOT do anything about it as long as the amount is low enough that it is a misdemeanor and not a felony. This hurt my feelings a lot. When I lived in Greenville, and got my apartment robbed, they did nothing about it. When I lived in Greenville, and someone stole $200 in gift certificates out of my mailbox; Greenville Police did nothing about it. In that case, I also had the person on video at both Target, and Food Lion (where the cards were used). So, if I have learned anything, it is that you do NOT have to be a genius to make a living as a criminal. You just have to make sure that you only steal up to the amount that keeps it a misdemeanor. It is not worth the cop's time to investigate anything that is not a felony. Part of me understands. Cops should be investigating murders, and other dangerous crimes. But the other part of me says I am NOT the only person that this person stole from. And I am sure if they add up all of the people together that the woman has used their cards (She used 6 at the Walgreen's that night for her $1,000 purchase) then I'm sure it would become a felony rather quickly. However, it is much easier for the Police to not do anything, than to do something.
In conclusion, I now have Lifelock to keep anyone from opening new credit in my name without me knowing. It sucks having to pay an extra fee each month, but it is comforting knowing that if anyone uses my Social Security number on anything, I will get a phone call.
On Tuesday, June 5th, 2012 I ate at Dallas BBQ on 72nd St NYC. My waitress was Eva P. I am in no way saying Eva P was the person who did this. I am just stating facts, as I know them. I mention this restaurant because it was the only place within a month that I gave someone my debit card, and it left my sight. It is quite possible I walked by someone who had a skimmer that read the strip on my card.
On Friday, June 8th at 7:40 pm I received a call from Capital One Fraud Alerts. They had some questions for me. I was at the mic so I had my ringer off. When I got home, around 8:45 I noticed the message and called them back. They wanted to know if I had made purchases of $95.56, $427.30, and I forget the other amount in Teaneck, New Jersey. I laughed, because I thought it was some kind of joke and replied, "No, I've never even heard of it". It turns out, someone had. Someone that had made a dummy of my card and was going on a shopping spree in Walgreen's in Teaneck on my dime.
Capital One said they would block all further charges, and I would receive all of the money back into my account that was stolen. However, I still felt violated. The first thing I did was call the Walgreen's where it was used. Since it had been within 2 hours, the staff still remembered the woman. Better yet, they had her on video on multiple cameras. I was excited because I knew that this would make it a lot easier on the cops. Better yet, they could burn a dvd of the footage for the cops to pick up.
After leaving the Walgreen's, this woman had went to Rite-Aide. Again, they had her on multiple cameras. I was excited. This woman would be caught!
I called the local NYPD Precinct (Precinct 50) and told them what happened and that I wanted to file a report. They told me that they could not take the report because my card was used in New Jersey. They told me to call the Police where it happened. So I called the Teaneck Police Department. They told me that they could not help me because the original crime was stealing my debit card number, and that happened in New York. Therefore, it was an NYPD problem. I went back and forth between the two for several phone calls. Finally, I called someone at the NYPD that said they could file it as a identity theft and to come in on Saturday between 8am and noon.
I came in at 11, waited until noon, only to be told that they could not file a report without something from the bank saying that I had been robbed. The cops said it would have to be something showing the amounts had cleared, and not pending. When I went to Capital One, they said I would have to wait until Tuesday to get that print out because the amounts would clear on Monday night.
Tuesday morning, I went to Capital One to get the print out. Unfortunately they were TOO quick in putting the money back into my account, (they had cancelled all of the holds) so I went to the police department and again tried to file my report. This time things went rather smooth. I had to wait an hour or so to be seen, but it wasn't too bad. I had gotten all of the information together for the police department. I had the woman's description, I had what times she was at which locations. I had already asked the Walgreen's to make a video. I had everything done for them. I even had the head Detective at Teaneck say that he would get the DVD to them.
The next day, Wednesday, a woman from the Police Department called me. She needed me to fill out one more sheet of paper. I went there immediately, filled it out, and was told that the detectives would call me when they had the video so that I could see the person who used my card. I waited a couple of weeks and did not hear anything.
Therefore I called the 50th precinct and asked what the deal was with my case. I was informed that no one had taken my case and no one would be taking my case because it was a misdemeanor, and it wasn't worth their time to go across state lines for a misdemeanor. I asked if the guy was kidding, and he said no. And, that if I had any issues with it, he could give me a phone number to call and complain.
I knew that would do no good. So long story short: if you need extra money, steal people's credit card information here in NYC, and then drive over to Jersey to use it. The Police will NOT do anything about it as long as the amount is low enough that it is a misdemeanor and not a felony. This hurt my feelings a lot. When I lived in Greenville, and got my apartment robbed, they did nothing about it. When I lived in Greenville, and someone stole $200 in gift certificates out of my mailbox; Greenville Police did nothing about it. In that case, I also had the person on video at both Target, and Food Lion (where the cards were used). So, if I have learned anything, it is that you do NOT have to be a genius to make a living as a criminal. You just have to make sure that you only steal up to the amount that keeps it a misdemeanor. It is not worth the cop's time to investigate anything that is not a felony. Part of me understands. Cops should be investigating murders, and other dangerous crimes. But the other part of me says I am NOT the only person that this person stole from. And I am sure if they add up all of the people together that the woman has used their cards (She used 6 at the Walgreen's that night for her $1,000 purchase) then I'm sure it would become a felony rather quickly. However, it is much easier for the Police to not do anything, than to do something.
In conclusion, I now have Lifelock to keep anyone from opening new credit in my name without me knowing. It sucks having to pay an extra fee each month, but it is comforting knowing that if anyone uses my Social Security number on anything, I will get a phone call.
Sunday, May 13, 2012
You simple, simple woman....
Read this:
and please tell me what you think. I think this man is being incredibly selfish. I think this woman is either in denial, or is too simple to realize he is using this as an excuse. I read this, and my first thought was, "WHY is this in the Wall Street Journal?", and my second thought was, "This sounds like a typical selfish New Yorker attitude". It falls into the me, me, me, not the we, we, we. I think that is the biggest difference between the north and the south. In the south we are raised in a "WE" culture, but in the north it is much more "ME".
Thoughts, opinions?
Sunday, April 8, 2012
These BS LINKS Blogg, Vol 8
Not everything that deals with black or write (or yellow or brown or red) is racists. Sometimes it is just the color of someone's skin. The simple fact is that it was a black kid who didn't bring his permission slip, so they put a skin-tone matching smiley face over his face. Had it been a child of another ethnicity, I am sure that child would have a sticker that matched his or her skin-tone as well.
Parents are retarded sometimes because this is FUNNY!
So when I run for president in 2020; one of the things I am going to push is education reform. Education NEEDS to be A>Better and B> Cheaper in this country. I can not tell you how I am doing that yet (I do not want other politicians stealing my ideas, but needless to say I will make America a better country).
Community College Cutbacks
This guy deserves to spend a few years in prison. Why is he not being arrested and tried as if he was driving a car? In most states, a bicyclist is considered a vehicle, so normal traffic laws apply. Had he been in a car, he would be in jail. The fact that he jokes about his helmet (which would be funny if he hadn't hurt anyone but himself), leads me to believe he has no remorse and maybe time in prison will teach him that life is worth more than a $20 helmet.
Dickie Cyclist
When Bobby Petrino dicked the Falcons, I was hoping he would fail miserably in the college ranks. He has not. He is a good coach. I give him that. But, as a human being he is shit. Utter shit.
Bobby Petrino is a scum bag.
News in America is biased. Almost every news outlet said, "ONLY 120,000 civilian sector jobs added. I'm sorry, but isn't GAINING 120,000 jobs a lot better than LOSING jobs. And then most state that the unemployment rate ONLY dropped 1/10th. The last time I checked, LOWERING unemployment rates is always a win. If you are sane, this should make you question who are the forces behind putting a negative spin on GAINING 120,000 jobs.
Only 120,000 jobs??? This sounds awesome! 8.2% is better than 8.3%
The Quaker Oats guy got a facelift!
Hubba Hubba, is that a oatmeal raisin bar in your pocket or are you happy to see me?
If someone brings a sign like this to one of my shows, I will comp your drinks.
And maybe please you sexually afterwards. (Females only please)
Pictures can influence perception
This is old news now, and since this story broke, there have been many outlets that switched to more recent pictures. Again, why does the news want to influence your opinion instead of giving you facts?
She's so darn pretty.... in her own mind
This woman reminds me of so many people I meet on set. Her dumb bitch face needs to be quiet.
Follow UP
She got her feelings hurt. Maybe her dumb bitch face needed to be quiet.
In other news, I am not starring in a Prime Time series right now because every single person in Hollywood is intimidated by me. [Note: That's bullshit. I know it, and you know. But I wanted to say something utterly ridiculous too!]
atnt
I hate at&t. I HATE them. Here is where someone sued them in Small Claims Court and WON! If you had throttled data on the unlimited plan, you should too!
Google Maps 8-bit is awesome
My favorite April Fool's Day prank!
Olberman...
being Olberman.
More women obese than thought.
I hope America wakes up soon and realizes that we are too fat. I've lost 25 lbs in the past year, my roomie lost 20, my dad close to 50, and my mom 15. We are doing our part, are you?
More info on obesity.
Seriously, America, YOU'RE FAT! Lose weight. It's not me, it's you! And New Yorkers, just think how much more comfortable the subway would be if NO obese people rode it.
This ties into last week's blog.
Apple Next iPad, not so Next....
If I had $10 million, I would short Apple's Stock. Eventually the iSheep will wake up and realize they are getting 2nd rate products for premium prices. I used to be a huge Apple fan, but I can't be any more. Not until they actually start innovating. I'm calling it now, if they do not change, within 10 years Apple will be like Kodak.
This is sad.
Mary J for Burger King?
Hey, remember when every black guy you knew wanted to bang Mary J? And then a few years later she won all those grammies? And then she cemented her career by singing for Burger King? WAIT WHAT?!
What are the odds that she didn't actually win?
If she did, this is one of the few times I am all for a lawsuit. (And an ass whoopin') Soooooooo, I posted this one on here Monday morning. In the 6 days since this happened, the woman has come out that she "can't find" the ticket. Who else is shocked?
Parents are retarded sometimes because this is FUNNY!
So when I run for president in 2020; one of the things I am going to push is education reform. Education NEEDS to be A>Better and B> Cheaper in this country. I can not tell you how I am doing that yet (I do not want other politicians stealing my ideas, but needless to say I will make America a better country).
Community College Cutbacks
This guy deserves to spend a few years in prison. Why is he not being arrested and tried as if he was driving a car? In most states, a bicyclist is considered a vehicle, so normal traffic laws apply. Had he been in a car, he would be in jail. The fact that he jokes about his helmet (which would be funny if he hadn't hurt anyone but himself), leads me to believe he has no remorse and maybe time in prison will teach him that life is worth more than a $20 helmet.
Dickie Cyclist
When Bobby Petrino dicked the Falcons, I was hoping he would fail miserably in the college ranks. He has not. He is a good coach. I give him that. But, as a human being he is shit. Utter shit.
Bobby Petrino is a scum bag.
News in America is biased. Almost every news outlet said, "ONLY 120,000 civilian sector jobs added. I'm sorry, but isn't GAINING 120,000 jobs a lot better than LOSING jobs. And then most state that the unemployment rate ONLY dropped 1/10th. The last time I checked, LOWERING unemployment rates is always a win. If you are sane, this should make you question who are the forces behind putting a negative spin on GAINING 120,000 jobs.
Only 120,000 jobs??? This sounds awesome! 8.2% is better than 8.3%
The Quaker Oats guy got a facelift!
Hubba Hubba, is that a oatmeal raisin bar in your pocket or are you happy to see me?
If someone brings a sign like this to one of my shows, I will comp your drinks.
And maybe please you sexually afterwards. (Females only please)
Pictures can influence perception
This is old news now, and since this story broke, there have been many outlets that switched to more recent pictures. Again, why does the news want to influence your opinion instead of giving you facts?
She's so darn pretty.... in her own mind
This woman reminds me of so many people I meet on set. Her dumb bitch face needs to be quiet.
Follow UP
She got her feelings hurt. Maybe her dumb bitch face needed to be quiet.
In other news, I am not starring in a Prime Time series right now because every single person in Hollywood is intimidated by me. [Note: That's bullshit. I know it, and you know. But I wanted to say something utterly ridiculous too!]
atnt
I hate at&t. I HATE them. Here is where someone sued them in Small Claims Court and WON! If you had throttled data on the unlimited plan, you should too!
Google Maps 8-bit is awesome
My favorite April Fool's Day prank!
Olberman...
being Olberman.
More women obese than thought.
I hope America wakes up soon and realizes that we are too fat. I've lost 25 lbs in the past year, my roomie lost 20, my dad close to 50, and my mom 15. We are doing our part, are you?
More info on obesity.
Seriously, America, YOU'RE FAT! Lose weight. It's not me, it's you! And New Yorkers, just think how much more comfortable the subway would be if NO obese people rode it.
This ties into last week's blog.
Apple Next iPad, not so Next....
If I had $10 million, I would short Apple's Stock. Eventually the iSheep will wake up and realize they are getting 2nd rate products for premium prices. I used to be a huge Apple fan, but I can't be any more. Not until they actually start innovating. I'm calling it now, if they do not change, within 10 years Apple will be like Kodak.
This is sad.
Mary J for Burger King?
Hey, remember when every black guy you knew wanted to bang Mary J? And then a few years later she won all those grammies? And then she cemented her career by singing for Burger King? WAIT WHAT?!
What are the odds that she didn't actually win?
If she did, this is one of the few times I am all for a lawsuit. (And an ass whoopin') Soooooooo, I posted this one on here Monday morning. In the 6 days since this happened, the woman has come out that she "can't find" the ticket. Who else is shocked?
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