Let's start off with this:
"Santorum Glitter Bombed at South Carolina Rally" (Not so sexy when I found out no strippers were involved)

I did not know what "Glitter bombing" was before reading this article. Now I know. I always called it "throwing glitter". Oh me and my technical terms for things.

And now for this:
This is a sex crime? I would have never guessed.

I'm sorry, this is funny. Anyone who doesn't find this funny, obviously never went to crazy parties in college. I laughed the day I read this article for the first time. I laughed when I told my friend to go check out the link. I laughed 25 seconds ago when I got the link to add it in this blog. I do not think it can be a sex crime when it is SO funny! [I laughed again when re-reading this post]

Now for the blog:

A long time ago (2007) in a land far away (Greenville, NC) I had a crush. Ok, actually it was more than a crush, it was a smitten love for one of my close friends. She decided she wanted someone else instead of me, and that hurt. Fast forward 4 years and some change later, and she tells me, "That was a mistake! I have NO idea what I was thinking". Although the sun has set on us ever having the relationship I so desperately craved back then, I feel very fortunate to still have this person in my life as a close friend. Hearing those words has put an temporarily continuous smile on my face.

This turn of events has led me down a road of reflection on my previous loves. I used to fall into deep smit at a rather constant clip. If it wasn't one girl, it was another. Sometimes I would not get the opportunity to profess my adoration, but more often than not I would get at least one date. I was a hopeless romantic. I would spend my days planning sweet things to do, and then when the opportunity arose, I could show my lady love just how romantic I could be.

When I moved to New York, I still had that same wide-eyed puppy love in my heart. In my first year in NYC, I probably had crushes on 100 lovely ladies. It would be hard not to when surrounded by so many attractive people. Somewhere along the line the love died. I can not pinpoint the exact moment I changed, but I know the relative time frame. My innocent smittens no longer exists. Now crushes rarely betide. Gone are the days of pining for a call, an encounter, a text. Gone are the days of obsessing over "what can I do to show this person how amazing I am". Gone also are the days of me being sad because things were not going exactly how I want them.

I know being constantly smitten is not healthy, but sometimes I miss my innocence. Or would it be more appropriate to say "my ignorance". I miss my rose colored views of love. I miss the rush of "OMG _______ called me!" I do not miss my feelings of awkwardness.

I hope this is not construed as that I have given up on love, for nothing could be further from the truth. I believe love is the most important thing in life. I only mean to state that I now realize that not every girl is "the one". Sometimes I can date someone just to date them and have a good time. That was a lesson that took way too long to learn, but maybe it took all of my missteps along the way, to make it to where I'm at today. (But more than likely those missteps just caused a major delay in me getting here. haha) I hold out hope that I will one day fall into deep smit again, but this time it will be because she has earned it.

I've done a lot of growing up over the past year, and for this I am proud. Needless to say, I still have a lot more growing to do, but I'm getting there. Be patient.

With that being said, I feel like I should end this blog with a dick joke. Here goes:

I've always heard you dress for the job you want, not the job you have.
So my question is this, how do you dress for blow?

You read that write, after all of the sincere writing about love in this post, I end with a blow job joke. That's a new joke that I wrote for the Valentine's SUPER Show that I am hosting at Broadway Comedy Club! You should come! Here is the link to buy tickets! TICKETS!

And here is an old show to get you in the mood. This was me just winging it one night bc I had a bad day. BUT, I'm still hilarious!