Wasted day? Well... sorta

I have done nothing today. The tough thing is, I didn't plan anything for today. Ohhhh I had assumed that I would work some more on my comedy, but alas, I only wrote one joke. It was a fart joke. Everyone needs one of those, right?

And I guess it wasn't a total waste, because I think the one joke I did write will be funny eventually, but I just feel unfulfilled today. I'm disappointed in myself. I figured maybe if I wrote something on here, I would feel like the day was a total waste, so here goes.

I once saw a homeless man in a wheelchair. He was missing part of his leg. He had five teeth, 3 of which were extremely crooked. He rolled by a penny on the ground, stopped, and locked eyes upon it. Then he swiveled his head around towards me and said, "I can't pick that up, it's tails, and that's bad luck". I nodded, and thought to myself, "Can his luck get any worse?" I think if I ever get that far down in life, I'll pick up the penny and risk it.

I think I will have a story about "Squirters" in my next book. Fascinating stuff.

I described the fashion of Jacksonville, NC as "camel toes and big bows". I think that about sums it up.

I'm writing a new set for Valentine's Day. You should come. $10 tickets mofo

"Mofo" isn't stored in my google dictionary. I feel like I have let google down.

I really am blah today. My time is so precious, and I get that I need to have a "me" day sometimes, but I would much rather have gotten more comedy done. I will have to bang it out tomorrow.

I like when women tell me exactly what to do. Do not confuse that with "bossy", although there is one lady friend that I call "bossy". She's a sweetheart though. But ladies, I am a very simple Brian. Tell me exactly what you want, and I'll accommodate that to the best of my convenience.

I wish "John Doe" had lasted another season. And that "Firefly" had lasted two more. At least with Firefly, we got "Serenity" to finish off the series. That was nice. And yes, I know there is a comic book, but by now you should all know I can't read. The bane to my existence.

I guess this is all for tonight. Just some random thoughts so I feel like I did something. I mean, my goal was to blog once a week, so at least I got that knocked out for the week today. Wish me luck in life, and for real, buy some $10 tickets. I will make your Valentine's MAGICAL! (I should learn ONE magic trick to perform that night. Yep.

PS I have THEE hottest Valentine in NYC.