In advance, I should warn that this blog will have some "mature" language in it, AND PROBABLY not be that funny. Read at your own risk. Or your own reward.... what will it be?
Sometimes I don't want to fuck you.
I think I should have this printed on any blank t-shirt I own and wear it under my outer layers of style and flair. I was thinking about this today because I have a couple of friends that any time I give them a complement, they think I want to fuck them. Nope, sometimes I just think your hair is pretty, or that you look great in that dress. If I recall correctly, my first experience with this was at f.y.e. in Greenville. One of the girls working there thought that any guy that paid attention to her for more than a minute was trying to get in her pants. I always wanted to reply, "No, not with that gross mole on your face". But, I did not because I keeps it classy.
However, I know why girls think this, because most guys do want to fuck them. What did I tell you last week guys, this is the year of the gentleman, so no trying to score random poon! Sometimes I will meet a girl at the bar (or club, or supermarket) and want to talk to her simply because she looks like she has something interesting to say. Who doesn't love interesting conversation? Anyways, this is just a tangent that is going nowhere, so let's move on.
The previous paragraphs really have nothing to do with anything, but I'm working on material for my Valentine's Day Comedy Extravaganza to be held at Broadway Comedy Club and I was trying to turn this into a joke. I could not. So now it leads off another great blog from Brian Spain. Hopefully, the blog WILL get better from this point on.
I wrote this 8 years ago. I discovered it about 3 and a half minutes ago and had to share. I'm such a romantic.
Sometimes I don't want to fuck you.
I think I should have this printed on any blank t-shirt I own and wear it under my outer layers of style and flair. I was thinking about this today because I have a couple of friends that any time I give them a complement, they think I want to fuck them. Nope, sometimes I just think your hair is pretty, or that you look great in that dress. If I recall correctly, my first experience with this was at f.y.e. in Greenville. One of the girls working there thought that any guy that paid attention to her for more than a minute was trying to get in her pants. I always wanted to reply, "No, not with that gross mole on your face". But, I did not because I keeps it classy.
However, I know why girls think this, because most guys do want to fuck them. What did I tell you last week guys, this is the year of the gentleman, so no trying to score random poon! Sometimes I will meet a girl at the bar (or club, or supermarket) and want to talk to her simply because she looks like she has something interesting to say. Who doesn't love interesting conversation? Anyways, this is just a tangent that is going nowhere, so let's move on.
The previous paragraphs really have nothing to do with anything, but I'm working on material for my Valentine's Day Comedy Extravaganza to be held at Broadway Comedy Club and I was trying to turn this into a joke. I could not. So now it leads off another great blog from Brian Spain. Hopefully, the blog WILL get better from this point on.
I wrote this 8 years ago. I discovered it about 3 and a half minutes ago and had to share. I'm such a romantic.
My current feelings on love.... To me, love is like the ocean. It's big, and beautiful and spreads as far as the eye can see. Just like love, everyone gets all excited about going to the ocean. What will it be like? The ocean, like love is kind of scary. Especially your first time. Then when you finally make it in, everything seems to be going o.k. It engulfs your senses. It is a wonderful thing. Until you realize, someone pee'd in it.
And now, 8 years later I must add, "and do not even get me started on the fish smell". Ha ha. That's humor.
As mentioned earlier, I will be doing a special show on Valentine's Day (or as I like to celebrate, Single's Awareness Day) this year at one of the bigger comedy clubs in NYC. The room holds 250 and I hope it is a sell out, because playing to a sell out is what gets me going.
Sometimes I get frustrated with life, but lately I have not. I try to always look at the bigger picture. I'm further along towards my goal now that I was last year. Last year I did better than the year before. The year before was better than the year before that, and I think you see the trend. If I continue making my incremental steps towards where I want to be, then I will end up at my destination. But, if somewhere along the way I stumble, I've already accomplished more than I could have imagined when I was starting college. Life is cool.
I've been working on the book more over the past couple of weeks. Getting a new laptop that didn't bog down while opening word, OR overheat if on for more than an hour has really helped. I think I will do fine with this book. It's definitely funnier than the first. Here is the thing, some of the stuff I wrote all those years ago is funnier than what I think of now. However, most of the stuff is nowhere near as funny as I am now, or it just needs a little polishing. But in the end I think we can all agree, what do I know?
CES just wrapped. The Consumer Electronics Show is so exciting for me. I could go into all of the things I loved about it, but it would probably be easier to go to phonearena.com or cnet.com. So do that.
This hasn't been my best blog by a long shot, but they can't all be gold. If they were, I would make all other bloggers feel bad about themselves, and I can't have that on my conscious.
And now, 8 years later I must add, "and do not even get me started on the fish smell". Ha ha. That's humor.
As mentioned earlier, I will be doing a special show on Valentine's Day (or as I like to celebrate, Single's Awareness Day) this year at one of the bigger comedy clubs in NYC. The room holds 250 and I hope it is a sell out, because playing to a sell out is what gets me going.
Sometimes I get frustrated with life, but lately I have not. I try to always look at the bigger picture. I'm further along towards my goal now that I was last year. Last year I did better than the year before. The year before was better than the year before that, and I think you see the trend. If I continue making my incremental steps towards where I want to be, then I will end up at my destination. But, if somewhere along the way I stumble, I've already accomplished more than I could have imagined when I was starting college. Life is cool.
I've been working on the book more over the past couple of weeks. Getting a new laptop that didn't bog down while opening word, OR overheat if on for more than an hour has really helped. I think I will do fine with this book. It's definitely funnier than the first. Here is the thing, some of the stuff I wrote all those years ago is funnier than what I think of now. However, most of the stuff is nowhere near as funny as I am now, or it just needs a little polishing. But in the end I think we can all agree, what do I know?
CES just wrapped. The Consumer Electronics Show is so exciting for me. I could go into all of the things I loved about it, but it would probably be easier to go to phonearena.com or cnet.com. So do that.
This hasn't been my best blog by a long shot, but they can't all be gold. If they were, I would make all other bloggers feel bad about themselves, and I can't have that on my conscious.
Why did I not know you had started the BS Blogg? I love it and expect to be kept amused regularly now. No pressure. Ha. x
ReplyDelete