Good, ol' fashioned, WHO IS THIS BABY'S DADDY? comedy.

I thought about naming this blogg "Why Corny Guys Ruin it for the Rest of Us". But it didn't fit the entire blog so I had to come up with something else.

The only point I have about corny guys tonight is that one of my lady loves has THE PRETTIEST eyes. I mean wow. Don't get me wrong, mine are still better, but hers are amazing. And EVERY time I say, "Your eyes are amazing", I feel like a corn ball because so many losers say that because they can not think of a real complement. But seriously, they are amazing. :-)

I usually only date hot chicks. This is a given. And I have had more than a few people call me shallow, but I prefer to say I have refined tastes. Plus if I start dating all the less than gorgeous women, ugly guys are going to get upset with me. And if we know anything about an ugly man, it's that he has nothing to lose.

So this one girl (different than the gorgeous eye girl above) that I date got chosen a few days ago to be an NBA Girl for All-Star Weekend in Orlando. That's right, the NBA is flying her down to Orlando, Florida for the All-Star Weekend. I am incredibly proud of her. She is the definition of a hottie, and she is a great person on the inside and she deserves good things. Seeing her have the ability to do something she wants makes me feel good.

But, bragging on her is not why I'm writing. I'm writing because I was thinking that most of the NBA players are going to hit on her. This is a given since she is so HOT. And I spent a good hour thinking about which one I would be ok with if she did bang him. I decided Dwight Howard. He seems like a great guy, and his nickname is Superman. How can she say "no" to Superman? I mean, it can't be Kobe. He may be my favorite player, but what if she got pregnant. With that whole "rape" scandal a few years ago, I would never want a child to have to put up with taunts of daddy being a rapist (even though he was acquitted). I do not want it to be Lebron because he can be a selfish player, and she deserves better than a selfish lover. It can't be Dwayne Wade, because even though he is one of my favorite players, I think he would have a small dick. And that is NOT fair to her. You might think I would relish the knowledge of knowing I'm better hung than an NBA player, but then again, after seeing Greg Oden's picture in the buff from a couple of years ago, that knowledge has already been relished. And she definitely can't hook up with any no-name all star like Al Hortford (Who?!?!?! Exactly!). Out of all possible guys, Dwight Howard is the best choice.

AND the most fun is if she DID get pregnant, we would have to wait until the baby comes out to see if it is mine or Dwight's. That is several months of me saying, "Oh, I don't know, it's either mine or Dwight Howard's". That is something that can not be uttered enough in this modern life. Shoot, I almost think that whenever I do find the right woman, and get married, and decide to have kids, I will use that line anyway.

Long story short, I'm proud of my friend for achieving something that a lot of girls wished they could achieve. I know I have joked about her doing some non-lady like things, and they are simply that, jokes. She doesn't have to bang an NBA player. This was all a funny tangent that I thought of the other night when I was writing material for comedy. The basic premise was, "Who's the baby daddy: Me or Dwight Howard?" and all of the words you are reading have come from this one thought. I hope you enjoyed this blog and were not offended. It's just good ol' fashioned WHO IS THIS BABY'S DADDY? comedy.