Monday, April 18, 2011

Now that's some BS

I'm sofa king funny.

I had a stressful day that shouldn't be stressful. I mean, sometimes I wonder how the fuck simple things can be so difficult.

Today I only needed 3 pictures printed. I went to 6 different places and none of them could do it. I finally find a Duane Reade that said, "Yeah,  we can do it, no problem". I gave them the 45 minutes to get them done, and returned. They weren't printed. The girl there told me the machine was broken. I asked, "WHY did no one tell me it was broken when I made the order?" They had no answer for that common sense question. Fucking retards.

Luckily Staples got me hooked up. So 7th time was a charm.

I'm almost happy that today was so shitty because I kicked ass at comedy tonight. I ad-libbed so much. I did a lot of crowd work. I'm going to buy the DVD so I can put it up on my website. I know you people want to see it. I'm freaking funny.

I'm going to bed, and tomorrow will be a better day!

Sunday, April 17, 2011


Soooooooooooooo I've really been slack at blogging since I moved to New York. It's been slightly over three years and in that time, I have blogged a grand total of maybe 10 times. This is me trying, yet again, to blog on a regular basis. I can't help it I am kind of a big deal and never have time.

What to say to start off?

I use a lot of bad language. I would blame it on being a comic, but I used it way before that ever came about. haha I will blame it on the fact a lot of things rhyme with the F word. I like words that rhyme. ANNNNNNNND Pallendromes.

I saw a Wal*Mart commercial today and the cashier was white. Where is THAT Wal*Mart at? I've never seen a white cashier at Wal*Mart.

Have you ever roofied a girl to get out of sex?

I have a book called, "So I Decided to Write a Book...." You can order it through amazon. Go to and it has the link. Rock. I'm going to make it an ebook soon. Get excited about that because I'm funny.

I recently moved to a new apartment. It's pretty and has a lot of sun light. I quit my job recently. They gave me a 42 cent raise and I gave them a 3 week notice. That was an insult.

Mt. Dew is my beverage of choice, but I also drink Milk, Pepsi (especially Throwback), Sunkist, Cheerwine, and water.

I like making Laura Wynn feel uncomfortable.

I still think He-Man is awesome.

I once did my kitchen in Cows. However when I was telling the chick I was dating about it via text, it said I did my kitchen in "boys". She was shocked and I was offended she was shocked. 10 minutes later I realized my phone had placed "boys" instead of "cows".

I like Chevy.

I'm very opinionated, but I do not try to force my opinions on anyone. I just make them known. This is it for my first blog, and I'm going to make a concerted ever to blog more often!